Ladies, how many times have you said you don’t want a man to be “too sensitive“? Someone who is strong in all aspects of his life (on top of being 6’5, CEO of a Fortune 500 company, have a beard and tattoos)? That a man who wears his heart on his sleeve can only get you so far in a relationship?
Fellas, how many times have we heard that showing our sensitive side is a form of weakness? That we need to have a cold heart to match our rough hands because that is what a man does? Why should we show emotion? That is merely for the weak. We have told ourselves countless times that NO woman wants a man who is “soft.”
Do you see the flaws in the examples above?
Being sensitive is not a disease. Nor is it a weakness. In fact, it is the complete opposite. The problem lies in the misconception of the term. If a man shows an ounce of what he is feeling, then he is labeled and ridiculed for displaying it. In many cases, this has caused several to shut down and become emotionless to society.. and then he gets stereotyped more for being quiet. It has become a lose-lose situation for the generation of today that have already become accustomed to it.. especially for the young brothers that are growing up and enjoy arts rather than sports, who are told that they are boys and not men.
Now, I do believe we are ultimately responsible for this illusion. How are we supposed to teach the next wave when we are lacking the necessities of being one in the world today? Too often, we either choose to be known for our strength or delicacy, and we tend to fail in the characteristics of our relationship, growth, and ourselves.
However, what can you create if you find balance in both?
Neo-soul legend D’Angelo once said, “there’s something to be said about a man who can be very masculine but still display that sensitive side.” The accuracy of that quote speaks volumes to the masses. Women gravitate to the man who has been grinding since the sunrise and captivated by that same man who writes her poetry at sunset. Listening to her problems and concerns is something that takes the same strength as it does when you put your foot down and make a crucial decision. The reason why being sensitivity gets a bad reputation is that many become petrified at the notion of taking charge and being bolder with their actions. That same fear is what has created those misconceptions stated earlier. Finding that balance is no easy task though. It takes the time to build up that confidence in yourself to still be who you are and add a new layer on top of it.
We should eliminate this idea that writing poetry and having a knack for listening to someone’s expression is a form of imperfection. On the contrary, we have to stop labeling those same characteristics as a delicacy. The destruction of the modern man relies heavily on society’s false ideology on what makes a man should be. The sooner we eliminate that notion, the sooner we can groom our youth to be sophisticated, confident kings with no labels attached.
Just remember that there is a difference between a sensitive man and a man with sensitivity. One wears his emotions on his sleeve. The other wears it while lifting his queen up in the process.